Scene: A Chinese resturaunt.
Me: Man, I'm really hungry. I can't wait to get some Hunan beef and egg rolls in my stomach. You ever eaten at a place like this dude?
Person B: AW HELL NAW MAN I AIN'T NEVER SEEN DIS PLACE LIKE DIS PLACE.
Me: Really? Well you're in for a good meal...
Person B: MAN WUT KINDA STUFF DEY GOTS HERE YO?
Me: Well, um, like I said they have some beef over there, some chicken over there, friend ri...
Person B: AWW HELLS NAW I GOTS TA BE TRIPPIN I AIN'T EVER SEEN NO SHICKEN LIKE DAT BEFO. HEY DOO, YOU SEE DAT LAKER GAME LAS NIGHT??? MAN THIS RICE BETTA BE AS GOOD AS YOU SAY IT IS, SHOO.
Me: Wha.. Laker game?... No I didn't have the chance to catch...
Person B: OOOOOooooooOOOOOOO!!! DEY GOTA ALL SORTSA SHICKEN ALL UP IN DIS. HEY YO DOO, WHY DEY BE EATEN ALL WIF THOSE STICKS AND STUFF MAN I CAN'T WAIT TO GIT BACK TO THE CRIB AND LAY WIT A WUHMAN AGAIN MAN CUZ YOU KNOW I'M A MAN AND GOTTA HOLD SOMETHIN NEXT TO ME AT NIGHT... HEY DOO, WHERE YOU BE SITTIN AT?
Me: Jesus... what, what did you say....
Person B: AWW NUTHIN MAN I JUS TRIPPIN *TISSSS TISSS TISSSS*
Monday, February 23, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Working with Insecurities
My coworker has been struggling slightly in training, and despite my attempts to assist in any way I can, things simply seem to be getting a little worse.
He is a very nice young man, and I know that he wants to succeed in this new position, however I can't help but wonder how this guy was hired in the first place. He has already admitted to having a speech impediment when he was younger, and I can tell that he is still required to focus on what he is saying, slow his speech down, and slowly blurt out whatever it is he is trying to say. This could spell trouble for a sales position.
Granted, I am not the one who is accountable for hiring anyone. I probably don't see what others may have seen in this young man during the hiring process, and I certainly admit that my opinion is just that: one man's opinion.
However, in a training session that is essentially a classroom atmosphere, we are required to answer questions asked of us in order to demonstrate that we have a thorough understanding of the material. Whenever this young man is questioned, he immediately becomes very confused and jumps from topic to topic in a matter that I have never seen before.
Can he just be nervous? Probably. Unfortunately, this trend continues whenever he and I are simply having a conversation. For example, when I asked him a simple question about how his meal was at dinner tonight, his reply covered everything from his meal to basketball. It was truely amazing to see this type of advanced ADD happening right before me, and certainly a little sad.
I do wish the very best for this new coworker of mine, and I will continue to help him in any way he needs with the job... but I see this as being a difficult position for him.
He is a very nice young man, and I know that he wants to succeed in this new position, however I can't help but wonder how this guy was hired in the first place. He has already admitted to having a speech impediment when he was younger, and I can tell that he is still required to focus on what he is saying, slow his speech down, and slowly blurt out whatever it is he is trying to say. This could spell trouble for a sales position.
Granted, I am not the one who is accountable for hiring anyone. I probably don't see what others may have seen in this young man during the hiring process, and I certainly admit that my opinion is just that: one man's opinion.
However, in a training session that is essentially a classroom atmosphere, we are required to answer questions asked of us in order to demonstrate that we have a thorough understanding of the material. Whenever this young man is questioned, he immediately becomes very confused and jumps from topic to topic in a matter that I have never seen before.
Can he just be nervous? Probably. Unfortunately, this trend continues whenever he and I are simply having a conversation. For example, when I asked him a simple question about how his meal was at dinner tonight, his reply covered everything from his meal to basketball. It was truely amazing to see this type of advanced ADD happening right before me, and certainly a little sad.
I do wish the very best for this new coworker of mine, and I will continue to help him in any way he needs with the job... but I see this as being a difficult position for him.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Neckties and Jesus
I have recently started a new job at a local college since my last company decided it would be best to take everything away from their employees and see what happens. While I feel much more comfortable early-on with this new position, I have to admit that I am rather nervous about a new daily activity I am forced to deal with because of this new opportunity: matching neckties with dress shirts.
I have never been required to wear neckties for a job before, and while I am all about looking nice for the customer (or in this case, prospective students), I am beginning to realize the difficulty of mixing and matching multi-colored ties with the dress shirts I currently own. The woman in my life has done a very good job of assisting me with this process, and has even gone so far as purchasing new combinations for me to rely on each day. However, I don't think this is the only assistance I will need.
The men at my new company are professionals of this mixing and matching trade, and have even mastered the art of matching multi-design ties with striped shirts. To me, a man still stuck in the solid-color shirts and simple-pattern tie box, this is essentially the equivalent of comparing high school algebra to college honors calculous.
To make matters a little more disappointing, a new co-worker of mine is already skilled in this talent of matching neck ornaments to dress shirts and has gone above and beyond my level of expertise instantly. While he and I are in training this week in Lake Elmo, MN, I have also learned that he is the best friend of Jesus. Literally. I mean... this guy was the first person the apostles called after the crucifixion and said, "You ain't gonna believe this shit...".
Nevertheless, this new coworker... while slightly crazy... is a homeboy of J.C. and a professional in business attire combinations. Am I to blame my father for not teaching me the ways of the necktie? He was a factory worker most of his life and has just recently gotten a position that requires him to also wear business attire on a daily basis. And he's 50. I can only imagine his state of panic each morning attempting to form the perfect knot in the tie he is placing around his forehead. And you know why he's confused? Not because his father was a railroad worker, but because he has Polish in him.
And for that fact, I blame my grandmother.
I have never been required to wear neckties for a job before, and while I am all about looking nice for the customer (or in this case, prospective students), I am beginning to realize the difficulty of mixing and matching multi-colored ties with the dress shirts I currently own. The woman in my life has done a very good job of assisting me with this process, and has even gone so far as purchasing new combinations for me to rely on each day. However, I don't think this is the only assistance I will need.
The men at my new company are professionals of this mixing and matching trade, and have even mastered the art of matching multi-design ties with striped shirts. To me, a man still stuck in the solid-color shirts and simple-pattern tie box, this is essentially the equivalent of comparing high school algebra to college honors calculous.
To make matters a little more disappointing, a new co-worker of mine is already skilled in this talent of matching neck ornaments to dress shirts and has gone above and beyond my level of expertise instantly. While he and I are in training this week in Lake Elmo, MN, I have also learned that he is the best friend of Jesus. Literally. I mean... this guy was the first person the apostles called after the crucifixion and said, "You ain't gonna believe this shit...".
Nevertheless, this new coworker... while slightly crazy... is a homeboy of J.C. and a professional in business attire combinations. Am I to blame my father for not teaching me the ways of the necktie? He was a factory worker most of his life and has just recently gotten a position that requires him to also wear business attire on a daily basis. And he's 50. I can only imagine his state of panic each morning attempting to form the perfect knot in the tie he is placing around his forehead. And you know why he's confused? Not because his father was a railroad worker, but because he has Polish in him.
And for that fact, I blame my grandmother.
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