Where Have All the Celebs Gone?

It's been a bad month to be famous, my friends. So, please stop reading this blog or you might kill me. You know... because I'll be famous... whatever.

Anyway, let's recap here: Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays have all died within the last few weeks. Out of all four names, the biggest name is obviously that of the world famous white female entertainer.

So let's discuss Michael Jackosn a little bit, shall we? However, before I go any deeper into this post, let me first say that I completely understand the love for this man as a result of his immense talent and entertainment accomplishments throughout most of his 50 years on this planet. I am a fan of many of his songs and will always remember trying to learn Beat It, Billie Jean, and Smooth Criminal on the guitar. Unfortunately for MJ, there are people like me in this world that prefer to look at the reality of his life and not push a few things under the rug... like, oh I don't know, molesting children.

Ok, stop it. Stop it right now... I know that he hasn't been convicted of anything. Now the smooth criminal (zing!) went and died, so now we'll probably never know the truth about what may have occured in the bedrooms and playpens of Neverland Ranch. But here's what we do know:

1993: A lawsuit is filed against MJ accusing him of seducing and abusing thirteen-year-old Jordy Chandler.

Dec. 1993: MJ makes a TV appearance saying he is innocent of the child molestation charges.

1994: Settles lawsuit by paying the plaintiff twenty million dollars. The Los Angeles and Santa Barbara district attorneys do not file child-molestation charges against him.

(Note: Charges are not brought up why? Because Michael paid them off. Let us continue:)

Nov. 19, 2002: Dangles his newborn son, Prince Michael II, from a Berlin hotel balcony, four stories high.

Nov. 20, 2003: Taken into custody by the Santa Barbara County Sherriff's Department on charges of child molestation. He posts a three million dollar bail.

Jan. 16, 2004: Pleads not guilty to child molestation charges.

Apr. 30, 2004: Pleads not guilty after grand jury indictment.

Jan. 31, 2005: The Jackson trial begins with jury selection.

Feb. 28, 2005: Prosecution opens its case with accusations that Jackson used wine and pornography to seduce the 13-year-old boy. The defense counters that no DNA from the accuser has been found in Jackson's bedroom.

(Note: At this point, critics to those accusing MJ start to bring up the possibility of this new 13-year old being told to "play along" with parents who are simply looking for a pay day.)

Mar. 10, 2005: Jackson fails to appear in court and the judge threatens to issue an arrest for him. Jackson's lawyer tracks him down at a hospital where he has been admitted for back problems. The judge gives him one hour to appear. He does, and the trial continues.

May 12. 2005: Actor Macaulay Culkin (who also eventually stars in Party Monster) testifies and says Jackson never touched him sexually in any way, and that yes, he did sleep in Jackson's bed, but that was only because he happened to fall asleep there.

June 13, 2005: The jury finds Jackson not guilty.


Just in case anyone forgot. Kind of a dick move, I know it. But you know what? This stuff happened people. Jackson was a seriously disturbed individual that, if he were alive for a few more years, would have eventually been accused of numerous additional molestation accounts. Ten years between charges? He was only 6 years away from more fun in the courtroom.